i think i have herpe
just one?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
