I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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