You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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