o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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