just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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