Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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