I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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