I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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