I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
