Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
