Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
