The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
