i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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