Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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