If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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