Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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