It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My life is pants optional.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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