She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
