used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
