Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
