Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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