I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
