belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
