Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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