Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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