tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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