Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
