Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize