I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
