Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
