you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
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It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
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I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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