whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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