Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
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Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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