Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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