These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
