People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I would ride that face into the sunset
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
