do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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