Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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