Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
