You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
