I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize