you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
