fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Everyone says I win the strip club
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
