if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
