fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize