the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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