she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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