: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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