before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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