YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
