I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
