If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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