those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
