she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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