So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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