Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
