Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I deserve this hangover.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
