The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
