Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
