this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize