just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
