A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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