a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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