Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
