No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
