....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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