There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
